Did he really say that?

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = GEORGE CARLIN...Stained glass, engraved glass, frosted glass–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R.L.SWIHART

Sunday, September 30, 2012

His Most Controversial Song (CpB #1)

 Cole Porter's most controversial song is a love song.
 But it is neither a boy/girl or a girl/boy song.
 It is a girl +anybody-with-a-wallet love song.

 The perfect vessel to channel LOVE FOR SALE was a singer
 who would never be confused with the subject matter.
 That would be Ella Fitzgerald.

"RoundMidnightTV" posted both Ms. Fitzgerald's cover and another version of LFS
  by a singer who intimately knew every word of which she sang.
  About her, Woody Allen  once said  that
"White women smoke pot because they want to feel like Billie Holiday."

  Both hyperlinks contain a pitch-perfect history of Cole Porter's most controversial song.
  Here are the lyrics


When the only sound on the empty street
Is the heavy tread of the heavy feet
That belong to a lonesome cop
I open shop

The moon so long has been gazing down
On the wayward ways of this wayward town
My smile becomes a smirk, I go to work

Love for sale
Appetizing young love for sale
Love that's fresh and still unspoiled
Love that's only slightly soiled
Love for sale

Who will buy
Who would like to sample my supply
Who's prepared to pay the price
For a trip to paradise
Love for sale

Let the poets pipe of love
In their childish ways
I know every type of love
Better far than they
If you want the thrill of love
I have been through the mill of love
Old love
New love
Every love but true love

Love for sale
Appetizing young love for sale
If you want to buy my wares
Follow me
And climb the stairs
Love for sale

Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Blogger's Dilemma

Doonesbury is not so much LOL as LTYT (Laugh 'Til You Think). The character in this strip was a reporter for the Washington Post until he got laid off. Then he became a blogger.
The hyperlink strip is tenth or eleventh in a sequence involving Alex Doonesbury, her husband and her grandmother.
From the hyperlink, you can click on the calendar to access the preceding strips.

That Garry Trudeau's portrait is off-center may or may not mean something.

Poet In A SHOE box

This post–and its predecessor–is an LOL zone but some people hate the sight of certain things.

Chris Cassatt is the other SHOEmaker.

Real Math in a SHOE box

Skyler has a word problem

Gary Brookins (along with Chris Cassatt) inherited Jeff MacNelly's comic strip

Found Word

There's an important phrase conspicuously missing from the English language but I think catoonist Harry BLISS has found it!

But the verb form–drama queening–is a keeper.

This Is Not Paul Oliverio

But it is Paul Oliver, a British author. The cover of his book, The Meaning of the Blues, can be viewed in the 2-DIE-4 PHOTO GALLERY. According to reality, we are not related nor have we ever met. But according to Lewis Carroll Logic, two white boys can be soul brothers.
The Italian boy wishes he were articulate enough to have written this tribute to Sonny Boy Williamson II.

Little Walter

With apologies to Sonny Boy Williamson , Walter Jacobs gets a self-titled blogpost. My good friends at Plan 9 Music concept had to do very little plodding for me to bestow this honor on LITTLE WALTER, another extraordinary blues harp/singer/composer dude. Mr. Jacobs is eminently deserving of a CHESS BLUES MASTER double album.

In the nineteen seventies, Nick Caruso both conceived and illustrated the gatefold album covers of 7 musicians, including the "Holy Trinity of Chicago Blues," being Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, and Sonny Boy Williamson. The only album cover art unposted features J. B. Lenoir. But I will post another photo because the musician is also known as Professor McKinley Morganfield:

As for the Double Muddy, you can "Buy It Now" from eBay for $60 but I wish you the best of luck if you seek to find the vinyl Double Walter.

For his illustrations of seven front & back vinyl album covers, the artist told me that Chess Records paid him approximately $1000.

A Forked Question

If I could access a larger image of this 13th Century "Forked Cross" painting, I would probably have the answer but can anybody out there identify the artist?

Friday, September 28, 2012

Mr. Twain & Mr. Oliverio

Mr. Oliverio is the author of THE GOODFATHER OF MATH.
Mr. Twain is the author of too many things to mention.

Mr. Twain once wrote:

The difference between the right word and the almost right word 
is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Obviously under the influence of that quote, Oliverio once wrote:

We have the inalienable right to mistake the lightning bug 
for the lightning but we also have the obligation 
to know the difference. 

The second quote, however, only applies to people
who understand the word obligation.

Another lightning bug/Twain page–
devoid of Oliverio's ego–appears here.

Breathe Here (A Poem)

Two nights in a rose
Love hit me
In the I

I know not why
And barely who
Said you
It was me

There was a knock on the door
"Who is it?"
"I was about to ask the same question."
"Why is it?"
"Can–or should–I let you out?"

We sat down for tea because
"You don't need anymore coffee,"
She said.
I stepped out for some air.
She said
"Breathe here."

I did and then I did again
And then I asked
"Who exactly are you?"
She answered
"I was about to ask the same question."

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Head Shot

ZZ takes aim at MM

PARIS.- Detail of a sculpture by French artist Adel Abdessemed in front of Paris Centre Pompidou modern art museum, Wednesday Sept. 26, 2012. The historic head-butt that marked the end of French icon Zinedine Zidane’s international soccer career is now more than just a memory, with a 5-meter-high bronze artwork statue portraying Zidane aiming his shaven head at Italian opponent Marco Materazzi’s torso, erected in front of the Pompidou center in Paris.
AP Photo/Remy de la Mauviniere.

Text below photo is verbatim from today's artdaily.org

Nick Caruso, Honorary LCSoL Artist

The package sells the product.

If the product is good music,
it should sell itself.

Extremely rare is the case
where  packaged music
is less remembered
than the cover
album art.

But the good news
for the artist is
that it may
lead to

For example, the  MUDDY WATERS  album from
the  Chess Blues Masters double-album series.

Four more of the album covers are featured below.

In 1975, Nick Caruso was commissioned
by Chess Records to conceive and
illustrate what you see here.

He was chosen by the fabled Chicago Blues
recording company because of his previous
cover album art for an unknown band
called Mom's Apple Pie.

I can tell you with certainty that for every person
who remembers that band's music, ten people
remember that band's album cover.

Better minds  than mine will tell you that the band inspired one of the most
controversial album covers in the history of recorded music.

In 1973, New York DAILY NEWS columnist  Kay Gardella  suggested
awarding Nick Caruso a Grammy Award for album cover art.


However, there was no such award, at that time.
But you will see the controversial
album cover in a minute.

Nick Caruso's studio was above a storefront on Northern Boulevard in Little Neck.

For those of us who know Long Island geography–and  F. Scott Fitzgerald–
Nicky lived about one mile away from the fictional location
of  DOCTOR ECKLEBERG'S EYES:  the intersection
of Northern Boulevard & the Cross Island Parkway.

Little Neck was adjacent to Great Neck.

Manhasset Neck came next.

Little Neck was adjacent to the two "Necks"
that were the inspiration for 
East Egg and West Egg,
the  waterfront towns 
featured in Fitzgerald's

I was quite familiar with Nick Caruso's studio
because I was a friend of the artist.

I was most welcome in that studio when I had either
a six-pack of beer or some good reefer.

But this page is not about me.

Neither is it about Gatsby nor Long Island geography.

This page is about a 1973 art controversy  
inspired by a vinyl record album cover.

The vertex of an angle is where the Mom's Apple Pie
album cover controversy began.
Look closely and you can see
for yourself.

It is a vagina.

Blogger's Notes
Where the hell are you, Nicky? I miss you. Jack McCarthy misses you.
Paul Gretschel misses you...Carole Lombardi definitely misses you,
if only I could find her. If anyone could locate you
(Gretschel notwithstanding), it would be "BK."

I apologize for all the names on this page
that should have had hyperlinks
but you know how to start
your search engines.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Sylvia Beach & James Joyce

Shakespeare & Company–the legendary Parisian English-language bookstore–then owned by Sylvia Beach and Adrienne Monnier.

The best sound byte description of Ms. Beach:
Gertrude Stein without wealth and ego.

Ms. Monnier's ego was even smaller.

In 1921, James Joyce bemoaned his inability to get Ulysses published in the United States.
Sylvia invested blood, sweat, & tears, plus many dollars to get the book published in the USA
James Joyce got all the dividends of fame & infamy.

Blogger's Notes
Figuratively speaking, this post could have been smothered with hyperlinks
but it is an inalienable right to search on the engine of your choice.

The Gertrude Stein simile is the copyrighted property of LCSoL.

Marcel DuTramp

"I am Marcel DuTramp. The name is spellt
 with a capital T and rhymes with bump."
"Like the Donald?"
"Donald Trump."

He described himself as the resident artist 
of  the Long Beach Jetty.

"I am responsible for feeding the ten cats
  who live between the jetty rocks."
"What are their names?"
"Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta..."
"Gotcha. Can I see some of your art?"

"Of course. This is a photograph of Fingerman.
  It is found art."
"Where did you get the sink?"
 "From my surrealist uncle."
"You are kidding me? You are related to..."
"Yes. I am the nephew of Marcel DuChamp...

He also described himself as the POET LAUREATE OF THE LONG BEACH JETTY.

The next Marcel DuTramp page is here.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Onion Cheerleaders

NEW YORK -- Holding up signs and roaring with applause, employees at Accenture Management Consultants dropped their work Tuesday morning to cheer on coworker James Conrad as he shattered company records by going for a 32-minute non-stop work streak...

3 Week Non-Functional League Revisited

During a 1987 labor strike, the the National Football League used replacement players for three weeks. The professional sport presented an embarrassingly amateurish product on the field of play.

During a 2012 labor strike, the NFL presented something much worse for the first three weeks of the season: replacement referees.
But the strike has been settled and the National Football League will be functional again. That is, we can stop staring at the zebras and fully focus our attention on men wearing tights and shoulder pads.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Two Fitzgerald Strike-Throughs

To avoid potential counterfeiting of a Scott Fitzgerald commemorative stamp, the U.S. Post Office ran a strike-through across the 23.
The stamp was issued in 1996 when the cost of a first-class stamp was thirty-two cents. Holy Dyslexia! But the cost of an additional ounce of postage was twenty-three cents. Logic–that necessary evil–rears its heads in the strangest places.

In the photograph above, the digit 2 has been stricken through. The accompanying history behind the Fitzgerald commemorative stamp, however, pales in comparison to the hand-made history behind a genuine F. Scott Fitzgerald strike-through of the same digit.
"Hand-made" because it involves what is believed to be the only cartoon illustration ever drawn by Mr. Fitzgerald. Text identifying the seven people in the cartoon can be found here but please refrain from linking to the red ink until you...

Find the Scott Fitzgerald strike-through.

In a Through The Looking Glass gesture, I treated myself to a gift on Mr. Fitzgerald's 116th birthday. It is a framed–and significantly enlarged–copy of the titled Parisian cartoon with the undeleted strike-through.
To view an enlarged copy of the cartoon, per se, link to the red ink above and then click on Scott's hand-made illustration. Be sure your imagination is in working order when you get there.

Upon your return, you can use it to answer these questions.

Why are there two mermaids at the table?

The woman in the middle is Zelda Fitzgerald. Does she have two feet or are those pencil stubs?

Is the fourth woman wearing a gown or a balloon?

Does James Joyce really have a halo over his head or is that a floating dish? And what the hell kind of food were these people eating? Those upright things on the table: are they paintbrushes?

Did Scott Fitzgerald have disembodied hands?

Answers to these questions may vary by zip code or personal code and damn well they should.
But another question transports us to a Strike-Through the Looking Glass:
Regarding the commemorative stamp as falling a dime short of the first class postage: How do we justify honoring the author of The Perfect Novel (a/k/a "The Great Gatsby) as being less than first-class?
Obviously, Scott Fitzgerald was not a first-class illustrator. But given the vast tonnage of his reputation as a writer, this cartoon is worth an additional ounce to his legend.

Blogger's Notes
The reverse birthday gift would not have been possible were it not for the receptionist at the Alpert Community Center. He just happened to be reading a book by James Joyce and I just happened to be in a story-telling mood.

If you celebrate your birthday, someone else's birthday–or any other occasion–by going to the SYLVIA BEACH HOTEL, a splendid time is guaranteed. It is unquestionably the most bookish seaside resort in the United States.
In 1928, It was Sylvia who arranged for Scott Fitzgerald to meet his idol, James Joyce. That Mr. Joyce owes his global literary status to Sylvia Beach will have to wait for a future blogpost. However, if you do visit the hotel and do get to see a copy of the Fitzgerald cartoon she inspired, you have the Godfather of Math to thank for the privilege. I emailed a copy (sans strike-through) to the hotel owner two years ago.
The only thing that would be better is if the Sylvia Beach Hotel has the original illustration on exhibit.

Happy #116 (+HP B'day #53)

On this day, in 1896, Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald was born at 481 Laurel Avenue, St. Paul, Minnesota.

I have selected this poolside family photograph of the Fitzgeralds because Scott looks vibrant and athletic. Zelda has already been swimming. Scottie was old enough–according to her mother– to be a "voting member of the Fitzgerald household."

This may explain why the child appears to not be dressed for the pool. Scottie had to cast the decisive vote as to which of her parents was the better swimmer.

Attempting to influence the electorate, the female candidate undoubtedly talked of her youth.
Zelda Sayre was–bar none–the best swimmer at Lanier High School in Montgomery, Alabama.
"I introduced my classmates to skinny-dipping. That is something your father could only do under the influence of moonshine."

In Zelda Fitzgerald's Save Me The Waltz, mother says to her child
How can I be two things at once? Because, my daughter, I am so outrageously clever that I believe I could be a whole world to myself if I didn't like living in Daddy's better.

Happy Birthday, Scott Fitzgerald. I hope your Holy Trinity is enjoying an invigorating vote-free post-humous swim as I write this.

Blogger's Notes
Last week, my personal coach–and Lewis Carroll School administrator–Etta Seamster Jr. texted a reminder that today is also Daniel DiMaria's 53rd birthday.
We welcome yr presence @ Piscataway Pizza
From my blog-nest in southern California, I can almost hear her laughing AND vice versa. To say that her mother and Daniel's father are my personal God & Godette is only a mild use of hyperbole. All my contact with their offspring is via text, email or snail mail. Why?
It suffices to say the correspondence between us is immeasurable. Were I to have eye-to-eye contact with the "Juniors" the immaculate conception I have of their parents might burst. (Ditto for ear-to-ear contact.)
To complement my insistence on the absence of eye contact, the "Juniors" mandated that I cannot publish any photographs of either generation of Seamster/DiMaria. Were I to do so, this blog site would self-destruct.
I can live with that.

Happy Birthday, Daniel. I hope your day is full of Amazing Grace because that was your mother-in-law's favorite song.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Scotty & Humpty

A man is vulnerable only in his pride, but as delicate as Humpty Dumpty once that is meddled with.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Tender Is The Night

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I've Been Such A Good Boy

My Handlers (Seamster/DiMaria Jr) sent me a coloring book but no crayons!

For that I am most grateful. I wouldn't dare discolor John Tenniel's images.

The Clovers

If this isn't classic then Your Cash Aint Nothing But Trash

Not a believer yet? Then have One Mint Julep

Now that you are a believer, have a free taste of Love Potion #9

More Your Eyes Only








I fill the box and then give it to Brian and then it morphs into cash

For Joseph Corn...

Joseph Cornell, that is.
He was the master of the shadow box, also known as the memory box. For him, it was an art form. For me, this was an effort to put together a bunch of stuff that seemed like it was made for each other.

"Transparents" is a portmanteau and a potpourri of measuring devices and other mathemabilia.
The crown is a tribute to John & Yoko. Instead of a ladder image leading to the infamous YES, I used a jungle-gymmy construction.
It is the constructor's intent to have clarity neither blow its bugle nor clarinet.

Blogger's Note
Mathemabilia is the copyrighted property of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
An Art Professor at Cal State Long Beach permitted me to use the expression "jungle-gymmy." But I think he was slightly spelling-challenged.

Another Must-Post

This is such a great look. Of course, it is from artdaily.org
So is this
Not only but also...

Art Spiegelman

My Friend...

Paul Gretschel introduced me to
the state of California.

I had lived in New York all my life.
I had never traveled further west
than Newark, New Jersey.

The year was 1968 and we were
under the influence of
Lysergic Therapy.

The year is now 2012 and I
was under the influence of
Crop & Warp Therapy
when I created
this collage.

Firty-four years ago, my hairstyle
was named for the man who
popularized it:

Are You Experienced
It was called a Hendrix. 

Are You A Radical
When political activist/professor Angela Davis
sported the same hair style,
it became an "Afro."

Blogger's Note
There is more about my friend Paul here.

When Beautiful Universes Collide...

...It is so cool
It is so downright coolooooogie
It makes
Louis Armstrong & the MILLS BROTHERS
Sing Flat Foot Foogie

Langston & The Earth-Movers

Billie  Holiday &  Orson  Welles
Billie Holiday and Orson Welles were
responsible for the only "man-made"
earthquake in the history of earth.

Traditionally, insurance companies
refer to earthquakes as
an "Act of God."

But the "man-made" earthquake
was an act of love and the date
was February 1, 1938.

Langston Hughes
February 1, 1938 was Langston Hughes' birthday.

On that day, the Harlem Renaissance poet
was thirty-six years old.

His birthday was celebrated in Harlem
by  the most famous people on earth.
How do I know this?

The Amsterdam News, Harlem's daily newspaper,
provided the details.

An excerpt is to follow.

Cotton Club
Half Of Harlem Was There 
And So Was Half Of Hollywood.  

The private party began on the eve 
of Langston Hughes' 36th birthday.

The Cotton Club was hopping. 
The gin was flowing. 

The jazz did flow 
and the dancers did 
shake their money makers. 

They shook them until there was almost one million dollars 
stuffed into their bosomy bosoms and their bouncy bottoms.
John Wayne, Ava Gardner, Humphrey Bogart,  Ernest Hemingway
Babe Ruth, Dorothy Parker, Bette Davis, Countee Cullen
were at the Cotton Club tonight  in honor 
of a distinguished Renaissance poet:

Cab Calloway entertained while Mae West shimmied 
with Fiorello LaGuardia, the mayor of New York City.

Then Frank Sinatra sang while Louis Armstrong played trumpet. 
Eleanor Roosevelt danced with a pimp named Leroy. 

Her husband, the President of the United States,could not attend 
but sent the Vice-President in his place. 

That was John Nance Garner and he won a trophy that night 
for doing the Charleston and Cha-Cha simultaneously.

I play it cool
And dig all jive
That's the reason
I stay alive

My Motto
As I live and learn
Is dig and be dug in return

Langton Hughes wrote that.

If ever you write a poem as good–and concise–as MY MOTTO,
the President of the United States, or his ChaChaCharleston
representative, might  attend your birthday party.

There was a Sleazy Does It  HOTEL
right next door to the Cotton Club in Harlem.

During the thirty-six hour party, countless pairs
of birthday celebrants from the Cotton Club
either very secretly or very obviously
departed from the club to get sleazy.

There were probably trios of people and orgy-sized groups of people
doing the same thing but, according to this historian,
none of that can be confirmed.

The birthday boy had his eye on a dancer.
Her name was Banda La Bandita.

Langston Hughes winked
and Banda danced.

To rousing applause, she leaped into his arms
and he carried her next door–to Room 333.

Then they made love. Sleazy love.
They deserved more applause.

At the the Sleazy Does It  HOTEL–in room 666–
Orson Welles made love to Billie Holiday.

It was the morning of  February 1, 1938.

The jazz singer was as talented and volatile
as the actor was volatile and talented.

Orson made love to Billie and Billie made love to Orson. 
The process was repeated ten times.

They made the bed shake.
They made the street shake.
They made the earth quake!


There was an earthquake measuring 8.5 on the Richter Scale.
The epicenter would come to be known
as "God's Whoppee Cushion."

The epicenter would be known as THE BANDA SEA.

The date was February 1, 1938.

You can look it up

According to Wikipedia, it was the ninth largest earthquake of the 20th Century.
But when the  Los Angeles Times  published a list of the eighteen largest earthquakes
of the century, it ignored the BANDA SEA EARTHQUAKE,
despite the Banda's intensity qualifying it as the sixth
most violent shake of the planet.

In the Times' defense:  how the hell can you respect the magnitude
of an 8.5 quake when nobody died?

There were  no deaths on February 1, 1938 when the earth reverberated
from the magnitudinous, magnificent love-making in Harlem
next door to the world-famous Cotton Club.

A research paper found in the LCSoL archives
describes the Banda quake in the last chapter.

Neither child nor adult nor goat nor chicken died 
as a result of this earthquake.

Not a building was destroyed when the earth shook 
in "God's Whoopie Cushion" on February 1, 1938.

Yet, by magnitude, it was the ninth largest earthquake 
of the twentieth century. 

It erupted in the Banda Sea, an obscure 
and remote tributary of the Pacific Ocean.

The Banda is  located hundreds of miles
from anything resembling civilization.

Coincidentally, In the early morning hours 
of the February 1, 1938 earthquake, 
Langston Hughes was making love
to a dancer named Banda.

Good thing he didn't make love 
to a dancer named Coney Island.
But the BANDA SEA EARTHQUAKE might never have happened 
if Billie Holiday & Orson Welles didn't have volcanic orgasms that night.

It would be wrong to regard this tremor 
as a "man-made" earthquake because, in addition
to two men, two women inspired it.

One of those women was Billie Holiday
who was good enough to inspire
a grasshopper to wear 
a gorilla suit.                  
Excerpted from the Lewis Carroll School of Logic Research Paper #142857

Black Power

A Black Power salute

Might look like this


Black people


Were made of


And lived

Under the sidewalk

Sunshine w/Vinyl Showers

A vinyl shower with

Winds registering 33 RPM.

Oh well.

Records just fell

Out of the sky

And Why?

Know not I

For Your Eyes Only

Jammin' The Blues