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The first thing
the creator
created
It can be said that humans rose up from the slime
but we did not evolve from single-cell creatures.
Evolution began with the gargoyle.
The purpose of the gargoyle
was to protect us from evil.
But evil had yet to be created.
The gargoyle got very lonely.
It was given a makeover...
and then there was GOD.
God created the world in six days...and then he refinanced...He was praised
by a Global Evolution Bank officer for his work with mountains, sky and sea.
“What we can do for you is a package amoeba deal.”
God was told that in time there would be fish in his waters, birds in his sky,
animals in the mountains, then–give or take a millennium–
there would be MAN!
“Man. What is that?”
“Oh, you’ll find out.”
“Whatever.”
As evolution evolved, GOD had an ever-increasing amount of free time,
most of which was spent reading books. GOD was partial to comic books,
especially ones that had a lot of this thing called "Violence."
And then He created the Bible.
Blogger's Note
The photograph is from the Schnitzer Museum of Art on the Eugene campus
of the University of Oregon.
All of the Eugenics here at the University of Oregon know that you have it all wrong: Evolution began with a Duck!
ReplyDeleteThat is pure poppycock! The Suedo Science Department of OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY proved that evolution began with...the beaver!
ReplyDeleteHow the hell else do you explain anything without starting with "Everything came out of the beaver!"
Gentleman, please.
ReplyDeleteBehave yourselves!
Let Little Alice speak for she alone knows the truth about where Evolution began.
"Evolution began with...the beginning. At first, there was nothing and then there was something!"