Countdown!

Hello, everybody. I am sure glad we are gathered in this room. Here is what I want to do: We are all going to countdown from Twenty:

20...19...18...17...When we get to Zero, I want everyone to be...Spontaneous!



*****
And here is what I need to say–even though I have said it before–

Complete Undivided Attention died the day Texting was born.

How do you define texting?
Texting is fingerpainting taught by a woodpecker. Instead of children creating art, they create modern forms of bad spelling.

Hey Grampa, what time do you have to take your nap?
Sorry, young man. That is very privileged information.