The marketing mavens have products to sell but Christians have delusions that Jesus Christ will return to earth in human form.
There could be no greater death wish...
Consider the countless wars Christians have waged in the name of their God. Then think about the countless dead in Christian Crusades. Therefore, no amount of anger management would prevent a returning Christ-in-human-form from being extraordinarily violent.
He would make Hitler look like a boy with a slingshot. He would be a suicide bomber with a belt of baby nukes tucked inside his loincloth.
But this does not mean there could not be a Second Coming. As a matter of fact, it already happened. The biblical Jesus Christ was fabled for his miracles. If he could rise from the dead, it would be nothing for him to assume the form of another species. And Prague is a city well-worth visiting.
If there is a single leader of the Christian world, it would have to be the leader of the largest Christian church. In 2009, that would be Pope Benedict.
While addressing an audience in Prague, a spider was seen crawling up the right side of his white robe. Moments later, the spider re-appeared climbing up the left side of the Pontiff's robe. According to the Huffington Post
As the pope left the medieval Prague Castle's ornate Spanish Hall, the spider could be seen hanging from a piece of web.
Then the spider disappeared from public view.
But it is alive and well, inside a fur-lined mayonaisse jar. The arachnid is stored in a climate-controlled room in a sub-basement of the Vatican.
The Pontiff visits frequently and kneels down before the spider who looks so damn cute with eight little legs and a tiny leather loincloth. Benedict brings the spider his favorite treat: miniature Cuban cigars. But the Pope knows how to keep a secret.
The real Spider Man is not coming to a theater near you.
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