Ernie?

The only problem with the human equation is that all variables are in direct contradiction with each other

I do not know who actually said this. I think it may have been this guy. I think his name is Ernie. He may–or may not–have been a janitor at the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
I think I recognize the brown suit. Or was his name Ernie Brown?
The suit had a lot of wrinkles. Or was that just the way he talked?

So many variables to consider.