Gang Wear Of The Ultimate Chollos

............It looks as if the Ku Klux Klan got a makeover at Traffic Cone School with embroidered gang symbols

-Skip Schneidly

Reporting from the Papal Conclave in the Vatican, Mr. Schneidly is the fashion editor of the Oregano News Organization but the photograph was stolen from the Onion News Network

............ALERTING ALL CATHOLICS & OTHER EARTHLY RESIDENTS............

The Oregano News Organization is about to scoop all other News media as to the real reason Pope Benedict retired

According to Caryl Hobbes, Chancellor of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic, this astounding revelation may well be the reason his "bosses"--Etta Seamster & Daniel DiMaria--have gone incognito and incommunicado