........The Institute of Inane Research........ ...................& The Vertical Fax..................

If a well-funded think tank can prove that Milk Can Kill,
there is no telling what else they can  prove.

The curvature of the earth–and airwaves–notwithstanding,
a message sent from point A to point B is transmitted horizontally. Therefore, a message from the CATs–above and beyond us all–
can take the form of a VERTICAL FAX

The scientifically dubious Institute of Inane Research has some explaining to do.
For example, who the hell are the "CATs?"

The Creators of All Things

As a result of being funded by the other CIA–the Catholic Intelligence Agency–
any research modernizing Christianity is instantly approved.

The Creators of All Things refers to God & Godette.


The Inane Institute, working with uber-satellite transmissions,
received the first Vertical Fax.

Because eternal damnation is not energy efficient and to improve control of the damned, we merged Heaven and Hell. 

Satan was allowed one artifact from his underworld real estate.
Consistent with being our new entertainment coordinator,
he brought along his bowling alley. 

It has thirty-six rows of pins. When all 666 pins are knocked down,
the bowler gets a slice of devil’s food cake.

The game is still played the same way up here except our cake
isn’t made from cement and we don’t bowl with fireballs.
But occasionally we do use a wrecking ball
because the pins are sometimes life-size.

Hitler and Osama Bin Laden are the most popular head pins.

The next Inane page is here.