A Scamological Truth & The Boomerang

CAUTION: if cynicism makes you break out in hives, you may want to avoid the following excerpt from Neither/Nor. Written in 1997, it is the first of my seven copyrighted "novels." This is not the first Neither/Nor excerpt to appear on this blogsite.

The more you spend the less money you have...is not always true.
Politically speaking, that is.
Be articulate, sincere, considerate, and conscientious, or do what is much easier: give the appearance of all of the above. Gain the trust and the vote of your constituents and they will freely allow you to spend their money.
Spend it liberally and fear not any over-expenditures. Fear only the inability to justify the expense. The more generously the revenue is thus spent, the larger the portion of this money that will boomerang its way to your back pocket.

Alice, Humpty, & Pablo

"Good-bye, till we meet again!" she said as cheerfully as she could.

"I shouldn’t know you again if we DID meet," Humpty Dumpty replied in a discontented tone, giving her one of his fingers to shake, "you’re so exactly like other people."

"The face is what one goes by, generally," Alice remarked in a thoughtful tone.

"That’s just what I complain of," said Humpty Dumpty. "Your face is the same as everybody has–the two eyes, so–" (marking their places in the air with this thumb) "nose in the middle, mouth under. It’s always the same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for instance–or the mouth at the top–that would be SOME help."

"It wouldn’t look nice," Alice objected.

But Humpty Dumpty only shut his eyes and said "Wait till you’ve tried."

HEAD OF A WOMAN
Pablo Picasso
1938

The Dali Show

FYI









This is Gala, the wife and muse of Salvador Dali. Her real name is Elena Ivanovna Diakonova.
Photographer = Chuck Bendel

Comedy & Comedy

Perpendicular
In Black & White
With Rorschach Blot

Cheek-to-Cheek
Vignette

Cheek-to-Cheek
In B&W

Side-by-Side
With overlap
And my Blurred
Bicycle

Upright & sidewalking
As a soloist
Approximating
What inspired Hertha, the Reubenesque Pug, to have a two minute staring contest.* And then along came this blogpost.

*
"Hertha must have thought it was a modern fire hydrant," said my friend, Joy Hille.
"But decided she was too regal to moisten the sidewalk."

TBD Letter

Mr. Oliverio (a/k/a FatMat)
Enclosed you will find the cover photo and the entire article, including Lewis Carroll's galley proof. Approval of your BLOGular response is To Be Determined by our office. To date, however, nothing posted on your Godfather Blog has embarrassed us. (Our historical objection to the double-r in the word embarrass, notwithstanding.)

Daniel DiMaria/Etta Seamster
Legal Department/Archivist
LEWIS CARROLL SCHOOL OF LOGIC
(a/k/a LCSoL)

Midnight Exchange For Miller the Chihuahua

Miller's last dream in his vacation home involved the controversial Trader Jones' Walk-Thru Exchange Window. Usage of this window discriminates against non-canine customers.

"I would like to exchange these six degrees of Kevin Bacon for some gluten-free high-octane low-impact Bacon Beggin'Strips separated into curiously cubic-inch chunks."
"The six degrees cost $1.89 and the gluten-frees, with labor surcharge, cost $7.29. The difference is $5.40
"Please describe your master."

"He's not my master. He's a rental and he's wearing a white Langston Hughes t-shirt that he's had since the last millennium. You'll probably find him sipping coffee and flirting with the food sampler."
"We know him well. He once wrote a letter to the Trader Jones Headquarters demanding that whenever an Aretha Franklin song is played through a store public address system, all customers should dance with the nearest stranger."
"Yeah. that's him. He got the idea from my master. They used to teach together. My master was the basketball coach and, at half-time, the cheerleaders always danced the Swim to Aretha's CHAIN OF FOOLS. Hey, tell me something: if a Trader Jones' product are not gluten-free, how much do the glutens cost?"
"Cute. But no Kibbles. Why does every chihuahua insist on telling that joke?"
"We learned it from the Taco Bell chihuahua. He made so much money from those commercials, he opened a Canine Comedy Club. You want to hear another joke."
"No thank you."