Did he really say that?

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = GEORGE CARLIN...Stain glass, engraved glass, frosted glass–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more liquid than language = R. L. SWIHART
I think therefore I blog = RENEE DESCARTES

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The First Electric Pickle



In 1900, there was little electric street lighting. A commonplace sight at dusk in almost any American city was the appearance of the city lamplighter with his ladder...Nor was there much illuminated advertising but New Yorkers could marvel at a fifty-foot Heinz sign on the site of the future Flatiron Building: green lights formed a giant pickle. HEINZ was written across it in white bulbs. Slogans such as 57 Good Things for The Table flashing on and off below.

Frederic Lewis Allen
The Big Change



Photo courtesy of NYC Vintage Image

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

If I Were A Ball


What if, instead of a Paul, I were a Ball, as in Alan Ball

And I had a very hip high school English teacher who introduced me to
Dawn Powell's My Home Is Far Away



Then I might be inspired to create an award-winning TV show called Six Feet Under

But when hypothesizing,
Certainty is certainly something
With which I do not speak.

Everything Is A Dream (CR #893)


The truth is in the panels

............MUTTS............

Potato Field Statue


Less than three months on the job and he already has a statue.


Giuseppe Imperatore artist and sculptor (L) Barbato De Stefano (C) and Antonio De Stefano adjust the vestments of a statue depicting Pope Francis in a small field of potatoes–to symbolise the Italian Piemont region, where the Bergoglio family comes from–in Cicciano, a small village in southern Italy on May 20, 2013. The statue was shown the day before during the local festival and the inhabitants want to bring it to Pope Francis at the Vatican in June.
AFP PHOTO/MARIO LAPORTA


Verbatim text from Art Daily


©

Saturday, May 18, 2013

A Perfect Sixth

Thirty two years ago today, I was in New Orleans doing
what most people do when they go to that city.
I got drunk.

It was an easy thing to do after inducing three barloads of people
to sing Happy Birthday and ply me with free alcohol.

I had never seen any of those wonderful people before
nor have I seen any of them since.

I was in the process of moving from New York to California.

For one year, I could tell people my age was a "perfect fifth"
as in 2x2x2x2x2

You can do the math.


I was only eighteen when I first heard this song



By far, the easiest song to sing along to on the Beatles'
Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band album
but When I'm Sixty-Four was also the most irrelevant.

It was impossible for a teenager in 1967
to conceive of ever reaching that age.

Sometimes, inconceivable things happen.
And now I am a "perfect sixth"

I would rather think in terms of having
four inner sixteen year-olds.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

DorkMaster333 (A Short Story)


DorkMaster333–that was his hashtag–claimed the number represented his IQ.

To the delight of his 333,000 followers in the TwitterSphere,
he could swing from the rafters above
the loftier levels of logic.

But while performing a quadruple conundrum
on a promiscuous premise,
he broke his cerbellix.

Four out of five doctors recommended surgery
though none of them quite knew
what a cerbellix was.

DorkMaster333 preferred the fifth doctor, Cornelius Quirk.
Doctor Quirk said: "Absolutely nothing could be done."

Thus, the DorkMaster mastered the art of doing absolutely nothing.

He changed his tag to "DorkMasterZero."

His 333,000 followers did the only logical thing possible.
They immediately forgot this Dork.


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the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.