Did he really say that?

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = GEORGE CARLIN...Stained glass, engraved glass, frosted glass–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R.L.SWIHART

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Multiplication of Jesus




Jesus mumbled something like “It’s all relative” 
and looked askance when someone exclaimed “Miracle!”

The someone was a New Testament cub reporter.
He was eating a tuna fish sandwich.

“Miracle, schmiracle," exclaimed Mr. Christ.

"This is a family chore, nothing more.
But mine is not your everyday family.
My Father gave me a list and a loincloth
and said ‘They need you. You’re outta here.’

I went from His Kingdom to yours.
Feeding the poor was high on that list, naturally.”

"Is 'loincloth' one word or two?"
"One."

"Thank you, Jesus. 
But tell me what else was on the list?”

“An idea to arrange rows and columns of loaves and fishes;
to set up a times table to feed the masses in body and mind.
Enlightened children would be my messengers:
‘Five loaves and two fishes–ten combinations!’ “

Doubts crept into the reporter’s quill pen:
Was it a miracle or was it a math lesson?
Only the New Testament’s editor 
would know for sure...

The reporter’s editor said
“Fogedaboudit, Cubby.
Who wantsa think about 
multiplying Roman Numerals?
Just call it a miracle!”

Photo: Rocky Point, NY

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