Did he really say that?

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = GEORGE CARLIN...Stained glass, engraved glass, frosted glass–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R.L.SWIHART

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Onion

Though I prefer Firefox to Safari, I am proud of my Irish compatriots, MacBookie and iPaddy II. Upon arriving in cyberspace on the MacBook, my home page is a vegetable.  For the internetgalactic journey, I need nutritional fortitude in the form of Vitamin H, as in Humor.


Therefore, I need ONION.COM and herein present horizontal bullets from their website:
Love and forgiveness of Christ to come in exciting new gel form...Jar of change on dresser sadly factoring into a number of financial decisions...Local ape thanks God it’s Friday...Select Starbucks coffeehouses conduct queuing experiment. They will have asshole lines exclusively for people too busy texting to know when they are next...Court rules Meryl Streep unable to be tried by jury as she has no peers...Afghanistan war memorial planners asked to adjust length once again...NASCAR driver's parents pay for congratulatory message on side of son’s car.

Where else can you read about an .05k Run to raise funds for diabetes or a house fire 
that destroyed a package of Oreo cookies?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Evolution did not begin with a gargoyle, nor a duck nor a beaver...
It began with an Onion. Each layer became another species. Some species were spicy.