"Not One Of The Big C.A.T.s"

"This is Pythagoras."
"Really?"
"Yes. Really."
"I once had a Siamese named Pythagoras."
"I knew that."
"You know so many things, Marcel."

"Do you know where Etta Seamster and Daniel DiMaria are?"
"They are where ever they want to be."
"We should all be there."
"But they are happy with Chancellor Hobbes."
"So am I."

"And Pythagoras the Siamese is not one of the big CATs."
"If you say so."
"And I will say more."
"Can I photograph you and your funky t-shirt."
"No, you may not, Paul. But here is a picture of the t-shirt."



"I'm considering changing my name to Monk Dutramp."
"Thelonius Dutramp sounds better."
"You're right, it does but I have been thinking more like a monk."

"And I feel like we are on a mountain top instead of on the Long Beach jetty."
"You have climbed to the right place, my son."
"Almighty Monk, my ears are all yours."
"Open them wide, please."
"Consider it done."

“Jesus regretted being thought of as the only begotten Son of God."
"Why?"
"He had two brothers and two parents. In the family of the Big CATs,
Allah and Buddha were the equals of Jesus. The earthly differences between them
is more due to geography and marketing.”
“Did you say cat or cats?”

“I said C-A-T-s, as in plural. There was no singular Creator of All Things.
No single solitary man could have created this vast universe without a partner.
In the embryonic days of existence, oceans and rivers were easy for the
Creators of All Things: all they had to do was add water.
The sun and the stars were self-standing light fixtures. But mountains were a problem."
"How so?"

"Because God the Father, sitting at the drafting table, used simple folds of paper as a model.
Meanwhile, from across the room came a chant of ‘Boring! Boring!’
That was Mrs. God."
"You mean Godette?"

"Exactly. She said ‘I have an idea of for how to shape the mountains.’
This was a woman beautiful enough to make Marilyn Monroe look like Marilyn Manson.
She placed a silken red sheet on the floor.”
“Did a red sheet become a mountain?”

“No, But what was stretched out on the silken red sheet was the stunningly gorgeous naked body of Godette.
Her pose was what artists would someday call an Odalisque
Her body had the kind of curves that make a man dream in stereo. All God could do was say ‘Wow!’”
“And then there were mountains.”

"Hallelujah! Have a good day, Paul."
"It is always a good day when I see you, sir."
"You may climb down the mountain now."


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