Did he really say that?

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = GEORGE CARLIN...Stained glass, engraved glass, frosted glass–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R.L.SWIHART

Monday, February 18, 2013

Requested By Caryl @ LCSoL

I told Caryl Hobbes about this poem I just read at a Friday Follies Open Mic.
It was dedicated to "Amazing Grace" on her 92nd birthday.

Some mornings I count ten before
Inventing a reason to get out of bed
But instead of rising,
I count new reasons to go back to sleep
Then I get mixed up by mixed numbers
That is, numbers mixing with words.

One two three
I swim the sea
Every stroke another memory
(With a single demand
You understand
I never want to touch land)
Four five six: Make it last
Candle wax and wicks: Burning fast
Measure thins and thicks: Of the past
Oh God! I say
You are the only way
Your name is Yesterday.

Nickel, dime, or seven cent
What I get is Heaven sent:
The simple touch of a parent.
Mother please understand
Denied your helping hand
I gave you no child to be grand.
But countless is the kid
Grateful that he did
What silly ticher sid.
Eleven thirteen eight:
Hour is getting late
And she cannot wait:
Consciousness is my bad date.
Twentied Twenty-oned Twenty-Twod
Talking sea salt seasons my food
All it says is
“To be continued.”

Other mornings I count up to nine
If doing so helps
Complete a Sudoku puzzle.
Hail the strategies:
Mining the mode,
Either/or-ing, slash & run,
And my favorite: yes + yes = no.

The Godfather of all these strategies
Is the process of elimination.

If the pencil-pushing, logic-laden
Puzzlers of the world united,
The Process of Elimination would be
Their Washington Memorial.
I think therefore I Sudokicize.

After completing a puzzle,
I wait one-half hour before
Jumping into the water.

One two three I swim the sea
But now understand:
I will touch land.

The island of Randomia
Is a little bit this
A little bit that
It is neither here nor there
But slightly south of everywhere.
It is where
Who, what, when, why and we
Are fancy foliage in a word tree.
Subject, verb & object
Form the designs.
Military might is bullets
And punchlines.
Neighboring quotes may not
Know each other’s name
With every other thought
Only a player in the game.
Welcome to Randomia

WHO said "The more you write,
The more you need a weedwhacker?"
I did! And also...
If they gave Mona Lisa a makeover,
She'd look a lot younger but
WHAT is the point?

WHEN the creative process is 10% excellent
And 90% excrement,
Just tip the scale...
WHY do we need two hands to put on one glove?
M J went through the looking glass:
He put one glove on two hands.
If Michael was freaky for wearing one glove
Then how do you explain baseball?

WE all need something to believe in
Even if it’s just disbelief.

Blogger's Note
WHAT COUNTS is now (officially) the copyrighted property of the Lewis Carroll School of Logic.
Thank you, Caryl and additional gratitude to Robby Ravenwood for providing a towel.

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