Did he really say that?

The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes = GEORGE CARLIN...Stained glass, engraved glass, frosted glass–give me plain glass = JOHN FOWLES...Music is the mathematics of the gods = PYTHAGORAS...Nothing is more fluid than language = R.L.SWIHART

Monday, August 27, 2012

Hector Loves Maria: A SHORT STORY ©

To celebrate his love for Maria, Hector bought a new switchblade. He wanted to carve their initials in a tree while sparrows sang in the sky. But there were no trees in his neighborhood and when birds fly south they do not stop in the South Bronx.

He traded the blade for some spray paint and, on a tenement wall, wrote

HECTOR LOVES MARIA

in rainbow colors. This empty building was where they first made love. Maria was a virgin and Hector was a dishwasher at a pizzeria owned by Mr. Carmine.

Hector had a dream that Maria walked into the restaurant while he was sudsing at the sink. She kissed him on the ear then magically disappeared. He jubilantly juggled ten dishes without breaking any as everyone in the restaurant applauded. All the diners leave him big tips which he did not have to share with the waitresses.

A long, heavy, and sealed plastic garbage bag had to be delivered to the neighborhood across from JFK International Airport. Mr. Carmine asked Hector to drive a “borrowed” car down Quagmire Boulevard and stop at the first mountain of abandoned tires.

Under the raucous umbrella of jet breath, the parcel was to be deposited in the thicket of marsh weed beyond the debris. The car was then to be abandoned at the next mound of debris where Hector would be met by a man in a blue Lexus who would drive him to the destination of his choice.

He was to receive $200 for delivering the “merchandise.” 

Hector followed the instructions perfectly but did not believe the contents of the plastic garbage bag to be plastic garbage: he knew it contained the remains of a human life. He also knew not to ask any questions of Mr. Carmine other than to inquire about where to get an engagement ring for $200.

Mr. Carmine gave Hector a $100 bonus and the name of a trusted jeweler.

The ring had a jade stone set with two miniature diamonds. When he presented it to the joyously surprised Maria, there was a Cheshire cat glow about Hector. Understandably.





© Originally written in 1979, I revised it in 1998.

HECTOR LOVES MARIA is copyrighted by both Paul Oliverio and 
the Lewis Carroll School of Logic. 

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